Bill, Hillary, Huma and A. Weiner

Wiener_tn

Bill Clinton had officiated the marriage between Anthony Weiner and Hillary Clinton’s long time aide, Huma Abedin. Huma had also been rumored to be Hillary’s lover. According to the New York Times, Hillary had bedroom privileges and could walk into Huma’s bedroom at any time, even if she was asleep.

When the FBI reported they found underage pictures on a laptop from a girl Anthony Weiner had been texting, he immediately checked himself into a sex rehab clinic. The laptop had 300,000 stored emails and some of them might have been the ones missing from Hillary. So the FBI needed to investigate.

Bill and Anthony had a lot in common besides spouses who were best friends. An ex-girlfriend of Bill’s, Dolly Kyle, told the Alex Jones show that Bill Clinton, like Anthony Weiner, was also a sex addict.

WeinerGate_TN

This was an excerpt from my new compendium. It’s got a bunch of short sections covering everything I thought was funny from the election. Be sure to check it out on Amazon. It’s called It’s All Grey

Advertisements

Ties to Russia

TrumpTies_Tn
Drawn November 2nd

The Russia conspiracy stuff started in earnest with a joke Trump made at a Miami press conference in late July. He was on the subject of stolen data from the DNC servers during the Democratic primaries. The press had given him a barrage of questions about Putin, his alleged ties to Russia, the DNC hack and any future Yankee-Russo relations. Would there be another Cold War, they wanted to know and maybe secretly hoped.

“What do I have to get involved with Putin for?” Trump said. “I have nothing to do with Putin. I’ve never spoken to him. I don’t know anything about him other than he will respect me. He doesn’t respect our president. And if it isn’t Russia, which it’s probably not, nobody knows who it is. But if it is Russia, it’s really bad for a different reason because it shows how little respect they have for our country when they would hack into a major party and get everything.” Here comes the joke part, “But it would be interesting to see, I will, I will tell you this. Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.” Then he gestured toward the press.

http://www.politico.com/story/2016/07/trump-putin-no-relationship-226282

Johnson 4 President

Gary Johnson, who had at one time had been the governor of New Mexico, was the 2016 Libertarian Party candidate for president. Trump supporters worried he might take votes from their guy.Johnson_tn.jpeg Their fears were assuaged when the libertarian was asked by a reporter on a September 8th MSNBC morning round table if he knew of a particular Middle Eastern city. Not that I myself knew. I had always thought Aleppo was someone who suffered from leprosy. It sounded like a nasty term I personally would never use.

The reporter told him it was the capital of a war-torn country. Johnson seemed unaware and blindsided by the line of questioning. He hemmed and hawed, preventing the reporter from following up by demanding he name some other foreign capital. Some other gotcha. Quickly, from the top of your head, any foreign capital! Johnson, as surprised by the line of questioning as he was, would have ummm-ed his way into admitting he did not know of a single foreign capital, not at that moment at least — with the bright lights, the hurried reporter, the big city. He could name plenty of big cities. Paris! London! But what if those were metropolises like New York and not foreign capitals? He could say Toronto! and take the chance the reporter called him out: That’s a province not a city, Gary. Or something, Canada does do things kind of weird. Or maybe Toronto was a parish? Was Toronto a parish? Don’t give the reporter the satisfaction. Better to play it safe … um, um. What is a lepo? Umm.

In a later interview, Johnson had a hard time naming any foreign leader. Studio lights may have been a factor.

 

 

Dances with Congregants

Portraying himself as a billionaire playboy in the 90s, Donald Trump wasn’t known much for being a churchgoer. People had been saying that man needed church for years. God would do him some good, they said. Church people say that about you. They say it about me. They just want to take a fiend to church — I mean friend! They wanna take a friend to church. That joke comes to you by way of a friend who had taken me to church many years ago. He had a bumper sticker on his car that read: Take a friend to church. I saw it and put white-out on the “r” in friend. There was a gap between the F and the I, but it was still a funny, fiendish thing to do.

ChurchTrump_tn2.jpeg

Anyway, Trump found god with his friend and former Apprentice colleague Omarosa at the Great Faith Ministries in Detroit. There was a video going around at the time with  those two dancing it up to gospel music as part of Trump’s outreach to the African American evangelical community. At the time this series was drawn, in September of 2016, I was not aware Omarosa had visited the church that day or I would have drawn her too. She would have been a fun character to cartoonize. Too bad she’s always missing. I drew another cartoon where she was gone because she would have blocked candidate Trump’s reflection.

Maybe Trump’s not a weePouty2_TNkly churchgoer, but he does share many of the same habits. Like the teetotaling. Which is a word I never fully understood. Where did that word come from? I could imagine it was from someone being in a restaurant when everyone else was ordering beers and he was that one guy only having tea, totally tea, no whiskey in it or anything. That’s Trump. He’s a totally tea drinking kind of guy, a tea-totaler. But a non-alcoholic beer every once-in-awhile might be alright. There are a lot of great new varieties available. Trumpwieser comes to mind. It’s this hip new brand all the Republican base voters are drinking.

It’s a rough and tumble world out there, a competitive world, a highly stressed one where everyone is trying to gain an advantage. This is the insulated word of Manhattan we’re talking about. You can’t be disadvantaged by alcohol there, as Trump supposedly told his kids. Another disadvantage, in this sleepless town, is too much sleep. You gotta get on the ball — early bird, early bird, early bird! Go! Go! Go! Deal! Deal! Deal! Donald J. Trump is part of that billionaire class that the Wall Street Journal calls the Sleepless Elite.

Trumpweiser_TN

They sleep between 3 and 4 hours a night and spend a lot of time alone because everyone else is lying in bed doing absolutely nothing productive. A third of their lives they’re wasting! What else is there to do but work, work, work? These billionaires are branching off to form their own genus of human. Eight hours of sleep? Ha! That’s sooooo Homo sapien — so last evolution. They’re already living on some other planet with two suns and a 5-hour night. Or maybe they’re living on the far side of the moon where it’s tidally locked and always day, except for the time when the moon is behind the Earth. Even if you did live on the near side, you’d always have light reflecting off the Earth bouncing back at you. How could you get any sleep unless you were Homo sapien, version: Alpha and didn’t need it? Beta versions stay back on Earth. That’s why billionaires go into space, and we don’t! 

Moon_tn

 

 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/video/2016/sep/04/trump-dances-and-prays-at-black-church-service-in-detroit-video